Thursday, June 14, 2012

That's What You Get!!

Kelly eased her car into the alley behind the Liquor Locker in Gary. Kelly and Cindy were not supposed to be in Gary - dangerous Gary. They were supposed to stay in the nice suburban towns. But, Kelly wanted Southern Comfort and Cindy was along for the ride and thrilled to be there.

A man walked toward them out of the shadows. Boldly, Kelly called to him. Cindy, in awe, said nothing. Kelly conducted the negotiations and handed him the money. They waited. Cindy was a little scared.

He came back. He handed Kelly a pint of Southern Comfort and started to rush away.

"Hey, I wanted a fifth!" cried Kelly, indignantly. "Come back here! At least give me my change."

"That's good enough..." Cindy started to murmur.

"No!" Kelly replied. The man had come back. Other men started to materialize out of the shadows.

"Give me my change!" Kelly demanded again.

The man was Middle Eastern as were the others who had started to gather, mostly in front of the car.

He leaned in the window, his face close to Kelly's. "You are very beautiful. Let me give you my ring instead." He pulled a ring from his finger. "It's gold."

He leaned in to kiss Kelly. Like a flash she scratched his face with a savagery that shocked Cindy. Kelly hit the gas pedal and the men in front of the car scattered. The one trying to kiss her had not fully withdrawn his head from the car and his body slammed against the side of it as they sped off down the alley.

Later, in another alley, Kelly and Cindy took turns hitting the Southern Comfort bottle as they washed the blood off the car with Windex and paper towels.


I have prepared this post to enter it into the TrifectaWritingChallenge! (Check out the link, it's fun!) This week we had to work the word 'alley' into our story!


  1. That's a lot more adventure than they were looking for, I'm guessing!

  2. Kelly should've listened to Cindy. Always listen to those quiet nagging doubts, is what I say. :P

  3. Sinister alleys. I always say that and believe that. I like the story in totality. I would say brave girls even though it got a little more than thrilling.

  4. This was scary! Bravery and boldness are at their height in youth, I think :)

  5. Thanks for linking up with Trifecta this week. Geesh, Kelly is one of those stupid-brave girls, isn't she? It's fun to read about those girls. Not always so much fun to be buying Southern Comfort with those girls. :-) Hope to see you back soon.

  6. WOW! I loved this one. I was really afraid for Cindy and Kelly there. I wasn't quite sure of the significance of the would-be attackers' Middle Easternness (nor exactly how they would have confirmed that over the course of that transaction?).

    Anyway, I loved it. Red Writing Hood is doing 'fate' for its prompt this week, and I think this really meets its criteria. You should link up over there, too! The bad guys can't have planned for Cindy and Kelly, though they might have been lurking for a couple of teen girls. And the girls were at the wrong place at the right time to be nearly assaulted!

    1. OK - thanks! I have never linked up over there! We/They could tell they were Arabs by the way they talked...if this were a true story...which I can't confirm! Cindy and Kelly did stuff like this every weekend and nothing bad ever happened to them. Then they grew up.