Sunday, June 10, 2012

The Headhunter


I walked into the Johnny Rockets in the mall exactly on time. There were only three people in there. Besides the waitress, there were a fat, balding guy and a large-boned woman in a cream silk suit and a lot of makeup. I tried to look at the woman without staring. Could the headhunter be in drag? No, he just wasn't here yet.

I started to go back out, when the fat guy said, "Libby?"

I drew in my breath and turned sharply. No way! That couldn't be him. After we had concluded our business and I had accepted the new job, the headhunter had asked me to lunch to celebrate. We were both single, and over the phone I had asked him what he looked like - so I could recognize him, of course.

He had told me that he was a body builder, and a lot of other wonderful things. I was almost intimidated. But, I arranged to meet him anyway.

Slowly, I walked over to the fat guy's booth.

"Sit down," he urged.

I sat.

"Is something wrong?"

"No. No!" I pasted on a smile.

"Something's wrong," he insisted. "What is it?"

"Well, that whole body builder thing..." I floundered.

He replied a little nervously, "Oh, yea. Well, I just started."

******

This is my submission for this weekend's Trifecta Writing Challenge. This weekend's challenge was to write an actual account of something that had happened to us that featured the number...three!




40 comments:

  1. This must have been hilarious, Elizabeth. You told the story so well. He was more of a dream builder, eh?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL! At the time, it was not that funny, but I look back and it is hysterical!

      It is not as though I have anything against overweight people. It is just that he SAID that he was this Greek God...

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  2. I guess he was overly optimistic about what those weights were going to do for his body after eating the low calorie food at Johnny Rockets.

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    Replies
    1. LOL! Adsense just put an ad for gastric bypass surgery in my right column!

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  3. Oh my gosh, this is so funny- great post!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks so much for coming over and taking a look, Diane, glad you liked it! :D

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  4. Very funny! I did "laugh out loud." :)

    best,
    MOV

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you...so did I, but not at the time - LOL!

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  5. Replies
    1. I love it when life hands you funny stories on a silver platter!

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  6. Oh man, I bet he picked up a lot of girls that way. He sounds like a dangerous sort of jerk. I'm glad you confronted him, but yes, I agree, "I just started" is pretty damned funny.

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    Replies
    1. Very perceptive of you. Later that day I googled him and found out he was a dis-barred atty who was now working as a headhunter. Disbarred for monkey business with clients' money...

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  7. Hysterical. Made me burst out laughing. Every one has to start sometime but would have been insightful to know ahead of time.

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    Replies
    1. When someone says, "I am a body builder, you assume that they have gone to the gym more than just the one time!"

      Haha!

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  8. wonderful story. I didn't realize at first that it was fiction.

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    Replies
    1. It is part fiction and part non-fiction. The story actually happened. The Adonis part was pure fiction :D

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  9. Okay, that is very funny. I'm sorry. Should I not be laughing? :)

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  10. I was going to say "well at least he was honest and fessed up to it"....then I read the comment about being disbarred as an attorney! LOL! Typical! Nice job!

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    Replies
    1. I know - right? In line with his character...

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  11. Thanks for linking up this weekend. This is hilarious. You told it perfectly--that last line is perfection. Hope to see you back soon.

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  12. This was great! (Well, great for a laugh...not so great for you to go through.) Talk about awkward :)

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    Replies
    1. I know - I was rendered speechless - a first for me!

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  13. This was great! I like the internal dialogue. Wonder how long he's been using the phrase "I just started".

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  14. I guess he is meant to be your professional connection only.

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